Fear and Peace - How is it possible to feel both at the same time?

I love looking at or watching water...the beach, the lake, the river...I can just sit there and look at it, stare at it, and I would feel so at ease, so peaceful...

On my Pittsburgh trip I did that, I walked on the bridge and sat down for a little while by the water just taking in all the surroundings and relaxing...the water wasn't even that pretty or clean looking, but it still gave me a sense of peacefulness...

But while I'm sitting there staring into the water...I started wondering...how can I love it so much staring at it, sitting here taking it all in?  Why do I love it so much, when at the same time I fear it so much...How is that possible?

You see, I can't swim...I don't know how...I took swimming lessons when I was a little kid...but never did learn...I have had this terrorizing fear when I get in water that goes above my head....never been able to learn how to deal with it or stop fearing it...

The water doesn't even have to be deep, as soon as I get submerged in it, I freak out...My friends make fun of me because I can't even go on water slides...I went on one once, slid down, went under the water, and frantically flapped my arms around like I was drowning...finally found my balance, stood up, and cried...yep...I bawled...it was very very embarrassing...

So I'm sitting there looking at the water, peaceful for the moment, but at the same time thinking, I would be so scared if I fell in this water...

How is it possible?  Something that brings me such peace... could also terrorize me so?

So I am home now.  Even though I didn't go to the market with the other flight attendants in Ghana, they told me some funny stories that I would really like to share.  One thing I've learned is that flight attendants love to go shopping with other flight attendants' money! lol... The guy that went shopping, he was also on call as well so he didn't bring any money either.  Instead he got to the market and then asked everyone: "So, how much did everybody bring?  Let's pool our money together so we can shop effectively!"  So they did, and he spend most of the money and ended up having to write checks for everyone after we got back! I was like, well I didn't know I could shop without any money!  If I knew, I would've definitely gone to the market with you guys!!! ;P

They said that you really have to bargain when you shop there at the market.  Whatever their price that they give you, you tell them you only want to pay half of that.  So they said the guy went shopping and he saw a african mask that he wanted...and this was his bargaining technique

   Buyer: "How much is this mask?"
   Seller: "$30"
   Buyer: "I will pay you $15 for it."
   Seller: "No, thats too little, I cannot sell it for that! $30, $30!"
   Buyer: "no, I don't want to pay $30." and they all proceed to walk away...
   Seller then chases after them, "ok ok! I will give you for $15!"
   Buyer then goes (as he starts to feel bad), "ok ok I pay you $20...."  O_O  rofl

who does that!   hahahaha...who offers more after the seller already said he will give it to you? lol...the seller is then staring at him like huh?!?  The guy then wanted to buy this painting from another seller...but at that point they only had $5 left.  So they told the guy they can only pay $5, and the seller said fine and sold it to him.  Well as they were leaving the market they saw the same seller running after them.  He goes, "I've been looking all over the market for you guys!  Since you only paid $5 for the painting, can I have your shirt?" ???  It was a old nike workout shirt that he wore, and as I did mentioned, it is HOTTTT over there right?  So by this time he has sweated all over this shirt! ewwww!  So he goes, "but there's sweat all over it, and if I give it to you, how am I going to walk around back to the hotel?"  The seller goes, "It's ok, It's ok, no one cares if you're naked here!" hahahahaha....so he took off his shirt and gave it to him...they walked back to the hotel, him with no shirt on the whole time, and um...I think they did care b/c everyone was staring at him!  They said someone else commented to him ooh nice pants! hehehe

We are on the plane getting ready to go home.  All the passengers had boarded and we had a freaking almost 3 hrs delay on the ground with passengers onboard.  I was sooo ready to go home as it is and I was trying to catch a flight home after I get to JFK...we were scheduled to land around 4:30pm and my flight home was at 6:55pm...so I thought I was all good...anyways so the reason for the delay was that the navigation system in the cockpit was giving the pilots all the wrong readings...they said they were trying to fix it, but then came on the intercom later and said that the flight was 90% gonna be cancel...I was like nooooooooooooooo! I am not staying here another day!  All the other flight attendants starts to pack their bags with food, drinks, and things all ready for another day stay...3 hours later the pilots said ok I think we've fixed it so we're gonna go ahead and leave...I mean I didn't want to stay there, but how do we go from 90% cancel to let's go?!?  So anyways, by that time we were already really tired, b/c during the delay all the passengers were raiding our back galley and took all the snacks that we had...so now we are all trying to prepare ourselves for another 12hrs flight after a 3hrs delay....everything during the flight was pretty good...I can't really complain b/c really compared to the Lagos flight that I did, this one had much nicer and patient passengers...but one thing I gotta vent or mentioned...During a 12hrs flight we do at least 4 beverage services, not to mention people that come to the back and ask for drinks....so towards the end of this 12hrs flight and I am coming by with the last beverage service and I ask you what can I get you to drink?  DO NOT ask me "what do you have?" 0_0  What do you mean what do you have???  We have the same darn things we've had for the past 12HRS!!!!  I mean, come on!  This is our 4th beverage service!  Really? I mean, Really!!!
With that being said though, I will mention that I will take this Accra flight over Lagos flight any day!!!

So of course I missed my flight with the delay.  We ended up staying in JFK for the night and catching a flight home today.  I stayed in JFK and of course was relieved to be staying at a nice hotel.  But then I took this picture:

This is water that is straight from the faucet while I was trying to brush my teeth! um...ewww!  How is it POSSIBLE that water in JFK can be worst than the water over in Ghana???